Most of you have heard of Best Buy’s so-called “Geek Squad.” You know, the guys who drive around in stupid looking black and white VW Beatles, wearing outfits no honest geek would be caught dead wearing. They need a change. I worked in front-line tech support for a year. Know what the single biggest problem from clients I ran across was? Sheer moronacy and lack of the ability to do things for one’s self. My computer has been running without a virus scanner for a few months. I also am being silly and trusting my router’s firewall to protect me and only that firewall. I visit some awfully dark corners of the web now and then. I installed a virus scanner the other day, and voila! No viruses! How many times do people have to hear “don’t open email attachments that you don’t know about from people you’ve never heard of before” before they finally do as told? I’ve heard too many people just go and get a new computer every so often rather than just run Ad-Aware once or twice. I’ve personally helped a girl several times who has computer issues because she falls for AIM viruses every single time, clicks on silly banner adds, etc. Every time I’ve ran a virus scan on her system, it’s returned over 400 results.

So, here’s how Best Buy is going to solve the problem. They’re going to start issuing LARTs to their Geek Squad members. If a customer should call for something that cannot be honestly answered by RTFM, or their something is honestly broken and they’re persuing a sensible troubleshooting process, then that’s alright. Otherwise, they get LARTed. They will be first LARTed with a foam clue-bat so they get the concept. After then lusers will be LARTed with what the tech support rep. thinks it fitting, ranging from the clue-whip, to the clue-by-four, the Iron Clue Maiden, to my favorite, the Mighty Cluehammer +5. I can see the following scene happen sometime next week:

Tech support: “So, what don’t we do?”
Luser: “Errrr…. I…. I forgot.”
*Tech Support gives Luser 40 lashes with the clue-whip*
Tech support: “So, what don’t we do?”
Luser: “DON’T OPEN UP STRANGE EMAIL ATTACHMENTS!!!! AIEEEEEEEEE!!!!”

I think this may work out just right.

Categories: Geeky Peawee
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Wow, it’s already less than a month until I go back to school. Shortest summer *ever*. It rather sucks that the extension wasn’t approved. Not just because that means only two more paychecks, but I won’t get paid to essentially hang out with my kids for another two weeks, especially the bike camp. C’est la vie.

However, I am working on a new website for the park district. I’m now working on a demo site, which is driving me a little crazy. It’s complex, and I can’t leave it at “it’ll work well enough for me”, but instead it requires thought of “will it work well enough for a noob?” (see the backstory here). I know I can do it, it’s just a matter of doing it. Perhaps I’d have more motivation if I had the money, but you know how governments work, they’ve gotta put out bids, etc.

Also: With the school year comes dinner parties. If you’re reading this, consider yourself invited to said dinner parties.

Categories: Life of Peawee
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Sixty years ago today, the world’s first atomic bomb exploded in New Mexico to see if the durned things actually worked. In the spirit of the First Amendment, here’s a link to Wikipedia’s article on nuclear weapon design.

Categories: Geeky Peawee, Political Peawee
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So, for those who don’t follow Slashdot, British classical record companies are pissed at the BBC for “unfair government competition” by using the BBC Symphony Orchestra to record all nine of Beethoven’s symphonies, and then release them for free from their website. Apparently it “devalues” music or something. So, if I were to make my own music, and publish it for free, and if suddenly became rather popular, would people get all pissy at me for making it free? From The Independent:

“[…]the initiative has infuriated the bosses of leading classical record companies who argue the offer undermines the value of music and that any further offers would be unfair competition.”

Can’t I set the methods for distribution for my own lawfully copyrighted works? Also: I know a lot of people who’d be getting into classical music if they could find and/or afford it. Beyond Symphonies 5 and 9, it’s actually rather difficult at times to locate them. Best Buy for example has only a limited selection of classical music. It also costs a lot of money to go to a concert. Why not let the BBC do this, and be the crack dealer for classical music? Get ‘em hooked with free good stuff, then start making them pay. I understand that people have to earn a living in this world, but come on, when did making the calls as to what others can do with their own copyrighted content come into play?

Categories: Political Peawee
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Schroedinger’s cat is not dead.

The above gag will not work if (a) you use Internet Explorer, or (b) you don’t grok quantum mechanics even a little. If it’s (a) that borks you, then Get A Real Browser™.

Categories: Geeky Peawee
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So, went out with the bike camp today for a long-haul ride. It started out kinda phunky, as my shorts leg kept catching my downtube shifters, thus shifting me when I didn’t want to, like when I was trying to accelerate away from a red light, it ended up shifting into my big chainring, thus making me accelerate like a dead mule on a hot summer’s day. I managed to adjust to the rebellious shorts, and continued riding. On the way back from Lake Katherine is where it all fell apart, quite literally as well. Three spokes in my rear wheel popped. Knowing how bad that wheel was, I wouldn’t have tried riding home with only one busted spoke; some of those spokes are under an insane amount of tension. So, I called the park district for what seemed like would be a simple ride back. Nope. No van was available to come and pick up my campers and myself. In fact, no vehicle at all was available. We’d have to start walking the ten miles back. I had my cycling shoes on; these things are designed not to flex in the least. As my rear wheel was at this point currently unrollable, I hoisted the bike onto my shoulder, and started walking with the campers. Two miles later, my boss calls and tells me she’s located someone in maintence who can come and help me out. It’s only Jessica Lach’s bike, which means we ride back, but that’s not a problem. The problem was that I forgot to ask for him to bring my sneakers with. You see, bike shoes are terrible for use with normal pedals; there’s no traction between shoe and pedal. I go and have to take my already sore as hell feet, and pedal without shoes. On a Huffy that’s completely wonked to begin with, and with a seat that’s way too low for me to ever think of comfily pedaling on. Oh, and I used up the last of my water a while ago walking with the bike. Seven miles later, I came back to that park district, and everything hurts. I’ll spare you the details of everything else, but suffice it to say, I was sick, tired, and sore. Unhappy Mister Matt.

In completely different and other news, people just finished with a start-to-finish simulation of the universe, only taking into account dark matter (which accounts for about 80% of the universe’s mass). The pics are awfully nice. I suggest you look at it over at http://www.mpa-garching.mpg.de/galform/millennium/

Categories: Life of Peawee
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I never knew working with Teen Camp™ could be this fun. I mean, these kids are awesome. I never thought I’d be ever caught dead saying this, much less alive and kickin’. They enjoy coming to camp, and they have fun. And they listen. And they’re not complete asstards. A variety of things.

Much better, however is my bike camp. Now, those kids are Fscking Awesome. And I’m turning them into bike snobs as well: they want to get our weakest rider a new bike if we can get some decent sponsorship so he doesn’t have to put up with his Wal*Mart $60 sucktastic de-luxe.

In completely other news: I’m still single. This has been the longest block I’ve been so since before Laura. It feels odd at times, namely when I get to thinking of it. I know that I’m free to do as I wish nowadays, and I’m definately not spending my hard-earned money spoiling any special someone. And that’s all good. I enjoy every minute of it. I get to be quite a bit more selfish in action; I’m not doing anything “just to make her happy”. On the flip side, however, I do miss having someone. Yes, I’ll admit it, I like romance. Romance is what makes me want to have a relationship. Going for dinner and dancing. Showing up unexpectedly with a bunch of roses. All that stuff. I love it. And that’s what I miss about not having a girlfriend. Granted, that’s the most expensive parts of having a girlfriend, but I’m working on cheap and low-cost alternatives. To romantic stuff. Not girlfriends. Sicko.

Spent the 3rd and half of the 4th at Tony’s cottage on Lake Shannon in the Braidwood area. That family knows how to throw a party. And somehow find a constant stream of food to shove down your throat, not that I’m complaining. Only problem was that all the girls who seemed interested in me at all were sub-18 years in age. Now, of course, if I were their age, I would have been completely ignored. Oh, well, life is hard.

Categories: Life of Peawee
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Alright, I moved my site over to Wordpress, and am giving it a shot. Blog:CMS was just too… yucky for me to take anymore. It’s still accessible right here if you really care at all. I’ll see where this Wordpress takes me. Until then, TTFN.

NOTE FROM 2007: None of these links worked, as I’ve long since purged any Blog:CMS content.

Categories: Peawee.Net
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